In my head and sitting at the table (uninvited) at meals with me, some unkind person is invading my space! It’s fair to say I have a resentment and I am letting this person take hold of my every thought and action. It is a sad state of affairs and I am ashamed that it has come to this point.
Deep down, I don’t really care what this person thinks or says but I can’t get over wanting to hear some form of apology for how I’ve been snubbed. Yes, that is stupid and narrow-minded and expecting one hell of a lot from another human being. I know we can’t all be aware of how important my feelings are! That is the baby in me…the selfish little child that refuses to let the world exist for its own self and not just for my benefit.
Sadly, I have learned to keep score. I have slipped back into old behavior that announces I am good and you have a lot to live up to. It is always a contest with me and no matter how much you do, it’s never enough! The balance sheet must be in my favor or you lose points.
I am very sorry to admit these sins..I am ashamed. I pray but God only gives me more challenges. That’s the point, but I miss the message every time. All the second chances go unheeded and so I have to go through the pain of self-hatred each time I fall into my old habits of resentments.
Someone told me once that Life is tough…so get a helmet. I need to accept those challenges and give up the resentments. Those free loaders that live in my mind are there because I let them stay there and keep repeating how they have been unkind to poor me. They should know better?? No, I should let them do whatever they need to do and I should forgive, ignore and be grateful that I understand that I am not the center of anyone’s universe but my own.
Life can be easier when I let go and invite God to remove the root of my resentments. Finding peace is a journey that takes discipline and right living. There is literally no room for hateful attitudes and self-centered behavior or thinking.
Today at least I recognize that pain as the resentment begins and if I want, I can work on overcoming it. How? Well, maybe with some loving thoughts about the person, I can find some peace of mind. Surely there is something good in each of us! I just need to look harder for the good and stop focusing on the bad.
This is what we are told…all men and women are created equal.
Then we begin to question why does the kid in the the slums do drugs and why does the kid in the suburbs go to private school! How can that be equal birthrights? What about the kid exposed to horrible disease in a third world county compared with the little royal prince whose world is pure paradise!
Does each human being born in this world have the same right to live a good life and enjoy peace and serenity? This theory may have to be taken deeper than the words themselves, deep into a spiritual world where each individual has that right to live beyond the material world and find joy and wholeness in a world protected by God (Whoever or Whatever that Higher Spirit may be).
It is essential to remember that people do have a choice to choose the path that feels full and secure. Yes, some have no guidance from uncaring parents. This often creates a vicious cycle and it is kept in motion by a sickness that is extremely difficult to break. The equality we are given at birth means there is an answer to the problem of this whirlwind cycle. Among the trapped individuals, this Special Power has sprinkled helpers into the world to give a helping hand to those who want to break the cycle.
The equality given as a birthright means everyone has the right to choose to break the cycle. All men are created with the ability to choose the right path, to live abundantly with peace of mind and to help his fellow man.
Those people born to wealth and abundant love sometimes choose a path of selfishness. Why? Not everyone wants to live along a path that requires gratitude and giving back so they attempt to get more and more just for their own use. It is the choice they make. They might believe they are not equal to others but far better than their fellow man. There are some of these people around…they have misunderstood what the promise of equality means.
Believe in equality and stay on your path by sharing your joy. Choose the right path and claim your birthright.
When I accepted my empty nest, I began to realize it was up to me to fill that nest with happiness and joy. Those feelings would bring me much closer to serenity than bemoaning my new situation. It can’t be done overnight and it can’t be done all at once, but with a little effort that nest will serve you well.
I found that it was fine to sit for a while and do all the shopping that I ever wanted to do. No schedule with kids needing me at home and a life style that included only changing sheets and stocking the frig. Slowing I became involved in others’ lives. It wasn’t what I knew at the time, but who I knew. There were a few people in my life who opened doors and I will forever be grateful.
Starting with an interest in supporting the Alzheimer community because my brother-in-law was suffering with that disease, I began to attend meetings where I met some special people. Before long I was fully submerged in the idea that I could help others.
Helping others became a starting line and I feel I won’t meet the finish line in this lifetime.
Have you considered volunteering? Your community has many opportunities from delivering mail to the departments of your local hospital (my husband’s gig) to helping with preschool children at your church.
Your nest can be as full as you wish!
I have some ideas for you, but the effort to go out and fill your nest belongs to you!
Come back for more nest-filling projects and thanks for being there for me!
P.S. Ask around at your church or hospital…who needs your help?