While the doctor explained the situation to me, my mind tried to open up to understand every word he was saying. He drew little pictures which I now know I misunderstood (he is the surgeon and I am the stunned wife with only Dr. Google to rely upon). We both were doing our best and I just wanted to see my husband but was assured it would be a little while as he was waking up in recovery. Were these all the answers to my questions about his disease? Never, but it would have to be enough for now.
What seemed like forever came to an end and I went up to the floor of this modern hospital and glanced out the windows when the elevator doors opened. The storm during the night had rattled the nearby hotel we had booked, but now the day looked bright and sunny. I was trying to hold on to the faith I profess and knew that God would make all things right when I surrendered to whatever His will might be. So the sunshine was a pleasant answer from Him–everything would happen as it was supposed to happen.
I saw my husband lying in a bed with tubes running here and there–the nose tube was the one that looked the most uncomfortable and it would be there for a while the nurse reassured me. It’s purpose was to drain out the mucus I guess. The catheter was collecting the urine and that bag was hanging on the far side of the bed. Better there than to be visible from the door and hall. At least there could be a little dignity for the patient that way. All this may seem pretty graphic for some of you, but that’s the way it is when a person is recovering from surgery. The room was huge and the bathroom was well stocked with toiletries and towels. (It was for my use as well and I would appreciate it for the night to come.) It would not be shower time for a while for this patient, but the nurses would let him know. Just sponging off for a few days would have to be okay for him.
The tubes running here and there were signs that he had just had major surgery, but the smile he managed told me he was fine. Faith and acceptance is his mantra.
That night was a nightmare with nurses running in an out, but I was happy to be at his side just because.
Whatever that doctor said to him in the first few days was lost in the fog of leftover anesthetic and I tried to remember everything I could. He is tough, but the most important thing to remember these days has been his handicap and most recent golf score…don’t ask him because he will deny that’s true. Maybe he doesn’t need to analyze every single word like I do because he accepts what God has in store is God’s business. What faith!
It was just yesterday I was sitting at my computer and President Carter was talking to the press describing the cancer that had gone from his liver to form four tiny spots of melanoma on his brain. I was shocked. He was calm. He chuckled every now and then broke out in that big smile the folks love about him…the peanut farmer who won the presidential race and became the 39th President of the United States of America!
He is quoted as having said he has enjoyed his wonderful life, a great marriage and all the work he has accomplished in his life.
“It’s in the hands of God, whom I worship, and I’ll be prepared for anything that comes,” Carter stated in his conversation. To me, that sounds like one heck of a lot of courage in the face of a real killer. He also said, ” Hope for the best. And accept what comes.”
Whether or not you or I voted for his politics, we have to admire his courage….my prayers are with him and his family!
Sometimes you just might need to close your eyes at night and remember that you are not the one making the world go round…you might wish you were in charge because it would be easier to get your way and direct people to do what you want them to do or say the words you want to hear. Slow your roll and surrender. Taming the world is not your job.
Many people believe in God or a Power that is greater than their own human self. Some people don’t believe in anything and go through life struggling to adjust the world to their own desires. If you are one of these self-serving individuals, I have no answer for you, but if you believe in Something Greater, even a little, then there is hope for you.
I believe I am here to do my job. I think doing something like those 10 Commandments in some form or the other is a guide. Be nice, play fair and be thankful…accept Life with as much of a smile as I can muster, teach my children to do the same until they leave home and face this world as they see it, pray always with a grateful heart and know that He will make all things right when I surrender to His will. No where does it mean that I have to manage other people because that is not my job. I don’t have to pray that someone gets well because God has the person’s best interest planned. I do have to thank Him for being in charge of the situation and accept what He decides.
When you close your eyes at night, maybe slow your roll and ask your Someone special to take over.
When I accepted my empty nest, I began to realize it was up to me to fill that nest with happiness and joy. Those feelings would bring me much closer to serenity than bemoaning my new situation. It can’t be done overnight and it can’t be done all at once, but with a little effort that nest will serve you well.
I found that it was fine to sit for a while and do all the shopping that I ever wanted to do. No schedule with kids needing me at home and a life style that included only changing sheets and stocking the frig. Slowing I became involved in others’ lives. It wasn’t what I knew at the time, but who I knew. There were a few people in my life who opened doors and I will forever be grateful.
Starting with an interest in supporting the Alzheimer community because my brother-in-law was suffering with that disease, I began to attend meetings where I met some special people. Before long I was fully submerged in the idea that I could help others.
Helping others became a starting line and I feel I won’t meet the finish line in this lifetime.
Have you considered volunteering? Your community has many opportunities from delivering mail to the departments of your local hospital (my husband’s gig) to helping with preschool children at your church.
Your nest can be as full as you wish!
I have some ideas for you, but the effort to go out and fill your nest belongs to you!
Come back for more nest-filling projects and thanks for being there for me!
P.S. Ask around at your church or hospital…who needs your help?